Thank You For the Best Hannukah Gift

So yesterday, I was alerted to the fact that some users on Quora had decided to post hate-speech about me personally, calling me a “little Zionist bitch” and wanting me to be scared.

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Modern-Day Maccabees

Scared? Gentlemen, (and I use the term loosely) you don’t have me scared at all. Duck walks are scary. Being put in a rear-naked choke is scary. Drinking Diet Snapple is scary. Internet trolls aren’t scary.

What you mistook as fear is called pity and disappointment at the complete stupidity and evil of the ideas of ethnic cleansing. I’m scared that my country’s army will have to engage in pointless violence, because we have better things to do with our lives, like be Start-Up Nation. We’d really much prefer to make commerce, not war.

But please, don’t make me laugh. You wouldn’t even have the courage to face me in a boxing ring. You’d wet yourselves if you actually met a real Israeli soldier. So instead of making something of your lives, you decide to harass a complete stranger.

I’m not scared of your grandiose dreams of becoming the New Nazis and destroying six million more Jews. I just find it sad you don’t realize your plans of genocide are officially canceled by the existence of a top level army. Move on with your pathetic existence, get an education and try to actually accomplish something positive in your miserable lives.

Still, you made my day. Your hatred honors me. If I’m hated by you, I must be doing something right.

Last night, I lit candles with my Krav Maga class and I thought of the Maccabbees, who fought battles against the greatest military power and won. They were outnumbered, but their courage and intelligence won the day.

Compared to the Seleucids, you guys are a joke. I doubt you could even land a punch on me, let alone take on the state of Israel.

So feel good thinking you scared me. I doubt you’ll accomplish much more in your life, but enjoy your delusions. Thank you for giving me a good laugh. I needed it and it was the perfect Hannukah gift.

Signed

Elke, Juris Doctor, Master of Science in Urban Affairs, Top Writer on Quora, Krav Maga Practioner, former Israel Government Fellow, and decent human being.

Writer, lawyer, Kravist, friend

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