Question: Is it better to scream for help or grab on to something if someone attempts to abduct you?

My answer: Why choose?

I just did a seminar on this where I had to fight off my headteacher, who is so strong that his light grip on my arm gave me an inch long black bruise.

Here’s what I learned. If I’m grabbed, I need to go crazy. I will kick and scratch and bite like a madwoman. I will go berserk and kept fighting. I must grab onto anything, use anything around me, and I’d better be screaming the entire time.

Why? Because the abductor wants to assert control. He (I’m sorry guys, but it tends to be a he) wants you to obey and be a good victim. You need to make it clear you are going to be more trouble than it is worth.

Now, many women, including myself are socialized to go quietly, for fear that they will hurt us and hope the cooperation will earn us mercy. That idea will get us killed.

To quote my teacher, Raz Chen, you never go to a second location. You have no idea what it is there, but it’s not going to be good.

In a second, more private location, you are at the “mercy” of your kidnappers and little mercy there is.

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In a private location, there’s little chance of rescue. You may be restrained (ropes, handcuffs, duct tape) or tased or beaten. You may be raped. You will have little way to defend yourself. You may even be killed in a place that is easier to dispose of your body.

Whatever they do there, it’s going to be terrible. You have nothing to lose, fight like it. Do anything and everything possible to attract attention and make it clear, you will not go down without a very bloody fight.

Your life depends on it.

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